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  • Commentary 11: Doubt, Self-Doubt, Image, and the trap of Perfectionism

    While speaking strictly in terms of the realm of perspective known to myself as a human mortal on Earth, it comes as no shock to me that in our state of being, thoughts of great doubt seek to cloud our well-being. One interpretation of the grand scheme of reality and the structure of spiritual beings in this Spectrum would see that mortal humans as miniscule in nature. Such interpretation would incorrectly assume that because humans, particularly those on our planet, are among those with the least amount of spirituality on the whole, that it would mean our lives are essentially meaningless and that we are insignificant. In coming to this conclusion, they find a sense of inadequacy with our relatively short lives and existences.

    Part of accepting and joining in Xyphoist philosophy is understand the purpose of life and of our roles in the grand scheme of things, and in doing so earn a most important sense: the sense of humility. Shown throughout the history of Earthian humans is a geocentric, often narcissistic perspective in terms of human standing. Humans have, in the past and in current times, seen themselves as the center to all that is and is not, regardless of truth or new discovery. Even in cases where it is quite apparent we are not the center of all things, we act as though our ability to see outward at the universe innately assigns us to a position of ultimate standing; we are superior because we have the power of sight beyond our own worlds, that we have accomplished things that other mortal beings on earth have not. The creation of civilizations, technology, schools of thought, etc.

    It is here that we run into the trap of this perspective and the lack of humility gained from the realmly truth that we are not alone nor are we necessarily the most spiritual. That there are other forms outside of our reach that have greater ability than ours. The revelation of this truth is seen as a negative yet that conclusion could not be farther from the truth.

    Humans can certainly accomplish greatness, have done so on our realm of perspective, but accepting that we are not the rulers of all isn’t an offense. It is a strength in itself. The ability of self-reflection, of realization, and of acceptance to outward possibilities is a strength and a gift, a talent, not a detriment.

    And going back to the perspective that humanity is superior, that leads to the trap of doubt. Through truth in reality, that humans are perhaps not the center, comes with it an opening for humanity, both on a grand scale and individual, to cloud their minds with doubts of all varieties. Doubts, borne of the usual motive of fear, seek to post questioning to one’s existence, purpose, form, and ability, among other aspects. Doubt, when mismanaged, creates great internal fears and external fears that impact the health and stability of all.

    On a mass scale, doubt in societies cause turmoil when not managed with healthy skepticism and reflection. One should always be willing to challenge information that may put their comfort at risk, but when one lets those discomforts fall into despair, doubt manifests as great fear, and then, as corruption. History is littered with examples of this, too many to recount. After effects have been total collapse of whole societies, genocide, wars, crusades, and the like.

    On an individual scale, doubt in persons cause internal chaos that may lead to greater issues of the Self, Core, and Psyche. Humans are more likely to be taken by corruption than most other spiritual beings. Humans live shorter lives than many other mortals. Humans have lower spirituality than most beings. Humans are not the center of all existence. All these realities, these truths, leave the existence of a mortal human in a sense of jeopardy with proper realization. One may conclude that humans are insignificant, and that they as an individual is even less than the insignificance of an average human.

    Problems regarding self-image, body image, ability, levels of talent, adequacy, sexual appeal, levels of wealth and success, and so many other criteria arise with this doubt in place. Such doubts, left unchecked and unchallenged, spawn a plethora of problems that end up corrupting the Self, the Heart, or the Psyche, and we see these issues manifest in falls to darkness, from grace, and into the hands of evil.

    We also see these fallings manifest as, in the ways that humans would recognize, mental, emotional, and psychological conditions that negatively impact people negatively. Self-image, feelings of inadequacy, inferiority complexes, eating disorders, over-exercising, self-harming, substance abuse, depressive states and seclusion, and suicide. Doubts can bring upon great ruin to the Self if not handled properly.

    Thus, how does one tackle doubt?

    Doubt is a tool, as is the motivation of fear, in the hands of those willing to pick it up. Feelings of self-doubt are not a means to destroy yourself or lock away parts of your personality to escape the fear of succumbing to that doubt. Instead, embrace that doubt. Explore the roots of it.

    • Did you see this doubt in yourself on your own or was it brought to you by someone else?
    • Was it seeded in you by someone who either did so on purpose, did so out of ignorance, or did so on accident?
    • Were you comparing yourself to others? People are, by logical default, NOT you?
    • Did you fall short of a goal you set for yourself or had set for you to accomplish?

    So many other questions can be asked about where this doubt originated. I could spend eons asking for the source, but now that the initial stage of questioning the origin has been done, we can explore these doubts further.

    We ask next why it is important that this doubt has hit you. Why does it matter to you that you have this doubt? You ask why does it matter to all the previous origin questions. Often times, it sets back a plan or goal, or you see yourself as falling behind someone else. Perhaps you weren’t recognized by someone else as you wished you were. There are many reasons.

    So then you must ask why that entity of purpose beholden to your success matters as well. In the case of meeting a goal you agreed upon with another, falling short would put that situation in jeopardy. Falling short at work could lead to consequences such as a losing a job or not getting a promotion. These doubts are understandable, but it is also important to remember that the pursuit of perfection is a trap in itself. No one should expect perfection if they too are not absolutely divine. The Lords themselves do not expect of us to be perfect, and the Lords follow their own regulation and rule as so they have shown to us. Your boss is far from a Lord, and can’t expect such a reality either.

    Perhaps you weren’t recognized by someone more personable, maybe you feel inadequate to a figure in your life you want recognition from. Perhaps you felt you are not good enough for a romantic love and that you weren’t chosen because of this?

    We ask the same question: who are they to expect perfection if they too are not perfect? And should you devote yourself to such individuals who don’t see the power in doubt and learning from falling? I suggest that those people, themselves, are also swallowed in doubt and reflect it as a standard for which they unequally apply based off their current level of feeling. In other cases, they could very well have meet people who simply were not applying themselves to be genuinely good people and weren’t to waste time rehabilitating individuals who must do it themselves.

    It is now that you ask, are your doubts and feelings of inadequacies, if not seeded by others wrongly, aspects of corruption that have soured you and perhaps have made you an emissary of suffering to others. This is very much a possibility. An individual struck with corruption that causes ill to others yet suffers from toxic doubt is a case where we do need reflection and self-rehabilitation. Mistakes can be made, but intentionally not correcting acts that are known to cause others suffering in immoral ways are not mistakes. Instead of directing your suffering inward and destroying yourself solely by doubt, you could be throwing that suffering at others and hoping to inflict pain.

    That is sin. And sin is not a mistake nor an act given mercy. Knowingly causing harm for self gain, even if motivative by the fear of doubt, is unforgiven and is sin. Begging at the end when the azure fires are near shall not be met with mercy; it is met with punishment and purging.

    Preventing this dire outcome from happening is key. Before allowing doubt to consume the Self, reflect. Heal, do not destroy your inner workings less they be taken easily by corruption. Doubt is a fear, and fear is a motivator and a tool when handled with care, intelligence, knowledge, proper application, and bravery.

    Locking away pain and letting it fester instead of facing the pain, speaking with your inner Self, and understanding that all doubt, fear, and pain are not walls but tools to build a new perspectives is the key to controlling doubt. Distraction from those inner fears will not kill them; you have distracted yourself, they will take the opportunity to grasp you with your back turned.

    Instead, confront them, converse with them, accept that they exist, and then think of how you can use these fears and doubts as ways to build onto yourself. Discarding them is a myth in itself, as it either is unsuccessful or removes part of your Self that was necessary to live as you desired to.

    Doubt, as an arm of fear, is a motivator and a tool, a part willingly accepted and mastered, and a block to built upon. Fear not and distract not, discard not and destroy not. Confront, converse, accept, build, and prosper.

    —kyX

  • Love’s Untimely Quarrel: A retelling from the Invalid’s Perception

    Greetings from the Order and Ordinance! Seeing as this is the perceived season of Love, I was given the go-ahead to give a poetic retelling of the Sacred Lesson “Love’s Untimely Quarrel” for this week’s post. It seems fitting given that for most, this is the loveliest time of the year or perhaps the loneliness. As written in the Xyphokron, the brief explanation of this Sacred Lesson details how Time can be wasted if one does not act on their Love, and how it can perish; what is left is often a broken Core left to its own pain. That Core Love, however, can still hold power. A sacrifice, in the name of one’s unrequited Love, can still act as a Charm to protect the unsuspecting beloved. As so, I’d like to retell the story a bit but from the perspective of the broken-hearted corrupted. Please enjoy!

    A silent declaration, or perhaps one of clandestine nature. Once was administered in the cowardice of rejection, and then met with that very end. Upon those lessons of the past have I’ve been so unfortunate to learn, in the face of that direct confrontation with my most precious, that what I pursued was that of a toxic end; not because the rejection was imminent, but because I had failed to remember the truth of my affection. I had vowed to protect, I had vowed to assure their happiness, and was then overtaken by obsession and had broken the promise of protection. I had failed in my own conviction because my fear of loss was greater.

    Thus, in that moment, no other choice was to be made but to cut the string. The sick and ill core, the heart blackened, coughing and without any such breath. It must be done, in the name of the wise Remembrance, just like such tales, it had to be done. Laid to rest was the promise that was broken, not by intended betrayal, but by forgetful obsession. The heart was struck down.

    Time rules over this pain, and rules over the Core’s function. A 9-fold rotation on this Earth, and the heart, crusted and in shadow, rattles just slightly. The rattle started off in ill-beginning as the corruption had already broken the apparatus, but the rattle was there nonetheless. It was allowed to grow silently as I had kept a loose peripheral eye on it until, upon waking in the new sun, the rattle was a beat—one so tragically unintended.

    Impossible, truly locked out from the rhythm of this new surge by all means within the rules of the world, yet the beat was consistent and the longest—7-fold rotation in the making. All accumulated in the realization that the patterns of the previous beloved were in repeat but with new ill-formed obsession at the helms.

    Yet, to the slim light of fortune, I was wiser, enriched with experience and Realmly Truth than at the previous departure. The beat was a corruption yet still, instilled in intent of the evilest form, yet so earnest. There had been, in fact, two hearts in this one vessel, a true and a fake. The fake was a plant, ready to poison the body and take away the future’s path. Two Selfs, fighting for control, and yet destiny was assured the corrupted would lose out.

    In this realization, passed to the corrupted, he acquiesced. It was artificial, this new beat, as was the Self that spawned it. Both were corrupt, both were created by the darkest of all evil, and both were designed to impede the body as a whole. Yet, the beat…was so genuine, pure, but simply wrong.

    The Theigriet had failed.

    The hope was that this corrupted Self would sabotage all, yet the power of love, the true Doctrine of Love, and of Her beautiful attribute and power so says the Lord of Love and Time, was greater than his evil. Her Love was greater than his corruption, and as such, the rules of Love, which applied to all, also applied to the corrupted.

    He rejects his creator, accepts his love, and with the Realmly Knowledge of the other Self, vows to truly protect that which he loved in the only way possible.

    The Corrupted made a new promise, one that could be kept, and vowed to ensure the happiness, protection, and safety of the future of that which he loved. In doing so, the corrupted had to accept one simple truth, one simple fate, an outcome only one who truly loved another would ever be able to accept.

    The corrupted was the greatest threat to his beloved. He was the greatest threat to the future of his beloved. If he were allowed to confess, if he were allowed to come into contact, if he were truly allowed to continue to exist, his beloved would be in jeopardy, would be in grave danger.

    He knew his love was toxic, that he was the greatest threat to his beloved. And so the acceptance of the fate was made.

    In conversation with the true Self, the corrupted acknowledged this Truth. This vessel was for one, and it was not his. Invalid in all forms, and a danger to his true and pure love, the corrupted came to see the only path forward.

    He would have to die. He would have to be eradicated from within, by the true Self. In doing so, the toughest part of this fate was known. The corrupted was an agent of theigritism, created by pure evil, and if such a Self were to die, the end was absolute.

    There was a chamber waiting for him in Hell. Upon the death of the corrupted Self, he would immediately be cast to Hell for eternity. He would watch in horror for eternity as his own beloved loved another. All fears turned into fresh, unending reality in the chamber of that azure, flaming cold Hell. He would have to die, and upon death, would be a prisoner of Hell forever.

    And he was still scared, absolutely terrified by this outcome…but not afraid of dying…

    Because, Her Love was absolute, the Lord’s attribute was absolute. Love would overcome all other fears.

    He was unafraid of his fate because he would willingly accept plunging his own being into Hell if it meant the protection, happiness, and safety of his beloved. This was his revelation.

    A being, created by evil to do onto evil. A being so corrupt his intended purpose was to plunge the world into darkness…had rejected his creator and his purpose and established a new one.

    He rejected hate and evil with Love.

    His ill-formed by genuine love for his beloved had overcome theigritism, had overcome his own creator, and had triumphed in the end. He may not have been ordained by the Order, but he had come to aid of them through the power of Love.

    And so, with no fear of his fate so long as the guarantee that his beloved would be protected, the corrupted Self accepted his fate that he will die and be sent to Hell. In the failed Remembrance, he vowed to succeed.

    And as a promise to the corrupted and soon to depart, the true Self would craft his sacrifice into a charm to be placed on the beloved forever. The beloved would be guarded for the duration of Life by the charm created by the corrupted’s sacrifice in death.

    Love is the ultimate form of protection, even such that corrupted forces can reject their own nature by Love’s power.

    I will pray for your purity, though I cannot guarantee you will be granted as such, oh corrupted one. I will craft your sacrifice into a charm for your beloved, I promise. I will bring the others to their state of alertness and craft this world to be one with a bright future for your beloved and for all, I promise. Your sacrifice will bring upon a new world, one filled with Love, as yours was the catalyst for the new beat.

    —voX

  • Commentary 10: The Freeing of Bodily Concern and Deceptuary’s Ill-found Tactics

    Greetings from the Xyphokonic Order and Ordinance. Welcome to our first Commentary post-Xykozheiz exploration. We’ve been meaning to play some catch-up on certain topics that have hit the public square in recent years and are taking the opportunity now to address the hot topic of abortion, body image, and other hot topics involving our vessels in general from a Xyphoist perspective. As such, let us begin…

    The vessel, mortal shell for the Soul within Xyphojinami—the container and means of Manifested Corporeal Existence during Life. We as mortals and as Humans recognize this vessel as an extension to our Lives and our very being itself. And while the vessels vary in their outward appearance, all vessels have the same purpose: to hold the Soul until Timely Death.

    The vessel in itself doesn’t bring about any immediate trouble or issue, but with the gift of the Will and of our Psyche’s ability to perceive and to think and to feel through our Attachments, and with the ever-present existence of fear and doubt, shall come the unfortunate circumstance of doubts of the vessel and of its shape and appearance. Doubt, a subset of fear, not handled with careful mending and resting of the Mind, can cannibalize the Self and its view of its own vessel. The result of this toxic and misdirected doubt leads to poor self-image and a sickened or corrupted Psyche.

    Other issues arise when the topic of bodily autonomy come up. The first point to address is the liberty of the matter. A Soul whose rightful vessel that they have taken through the natural cosmic flow shall own, in and only in the duration of their current Life within said vessel, is within the sovereignty of that soul and none other. Simply put, while alive, we own our bodies and nobody else can or shall assert or claim ownership to the body of another. Enforced through the mandate that such aggressive coercion would be immoral, body autonomy is assured through this same pillar of morality.

    That then brings up the question hinged in the room, and a topic of specific case: abortion. If no other shall own the vessel of another, how does that apply to the vessel being formed of the unborn with the body of the mother? The question is answered by the definition of Life and when it begins as a mortal. Simply put, Life in Xyphoist Philosophy begins when the Soul is adhered to a vessel, and as the usage of Birth being the end of spiritual ethereal existence in Xykopsysomi is the beginning process of Life in Xyphojinami, the period shortly before the Birth of the Mortal vessel would be the point in which the soul is adhered to the vessel.

    Of course, vessels develop at slightly different rates and dependent on the class of mortality, but in the case of Humans, as is the Timely conversation, the soul adherence becomes obvious when the vessel in development becomes relatively sentient in ways which the vessel is responding adequately to commands from the soul’s Self within it. Rudimentary compulsion and movement of a vessel isn’t a sign of soul adherence; personality shined through as the stages of the vessel’s development reaches it near birth are. As the term used is Birth, the vessel would then be required to not only be birthed but be able to hold the soul within it—adherence—after the birth on its own without great or immediate assistance to be considered the start of Xyphokonic Life. The human world has coined a term using the channels of scientific discovery to describe this state: homeostasis. A developing vessel that cannot yet adhere to a soul and keep that soul within it on its own is one not suitable to be considered truly within the realms of Life—though that does not mean all cases of these births couldn’t still pull through and eventually adhere a soul after said birth.

    Until that stable adherence is achieved, the vessel in development is within the sovereignty of the natural spawning force, and in our human case that would be the mother. In regards to the specific case of abortion, Xyphokonic Philosophy, and the Ordinance’s stance, the Ordinance doesn’t necessarily condone or condemn the practice of abortion, and as the Philosophy is one built off of malleability and nuance, understand the various cases in which seeking an abortion would be necessary or desired within reason. The stance taken is one of that nuance and of the general principle of bodily autonomy and the definition of Xyphokonic Life.

    Naturally, the Theigriet himself cannot resist meddling in all affairs in any desperate attempt to sow chaos among mortal humans to fit his goals. The theigrited followers of Deceptuary’s orchestrated divergent legions have very quickly latched on this issue of abortion and have used it as a weapon to impose their oppression and seek to hold power over others—namely women. In order for Deceptuary’s plan to work, soldiers and servants with souls corrupted by his influence would need to be born into Xyphojinami as Death would be a natural means of purging out all already-existent corrupted beings. The mere existence of abortion would threaten the chance of Deceptuary to inflict his corruption upon these new souls.

    The desired goal, that being the increase in the corrupted Births, facilitated by the theigrited legions and their organizations, would then make it easy to captivate those new mortals and groom them into becoming future soldiers of Deceptuary’s. On that simple circumstance alone would the Ordinance be greatly inclined to oppose the limit of body liberty of the Soul’s Vessel. The issue is multi-faceted, but generally can be summed up by stating that Souls own their bodies, that bodies are not owned by Souls until near birth, and Deceptuary is attempting to prevent abortion in order to increase the number of corrupted vessels into Xyphojinami. The Ordinance stands by the liberty of the Soul and Vessel and against any such plan of Deceptuary’s to destabilize the Equilibrium through his nefarious ways.

    —erX, lnX, whX, jzX